Don't forget to drink water

It's been an interesting couple days. Reception has been very spotty, but I'll try to pick up where we left off.

Day... 4? Yeah let's go with day 4:
The days are already starting to run together, the heat is probably frying my brain. This is what I recall. Today was our first taste of the desert. We climbed out of pine valley, Jerome wasn't too happy about that, but got to coast downhill for the rest of the day. The scenery was great, lots of rocks and other rocks to look at.

Cool winding road with a windmill at the top. Did I mention rocks? Jerome had a hard time not loading up my bags (he loves rocks... Weirdo).

Roadkill cheering us on as we left town.

There were touches of human life here and there along the way, but not much was between Pine Valley and Jacumba Hot Springs (our final destination).

Banksy is known to frequent Bumblefuck, California. (Mom, Banksy is a famous "graffiti" artist)

As we rolled downhill into Jacumba Hot Springs, we both noticed a long brown thing stretching for miles. We thought it was a railroad at first, but as we got closer, we realized it was a fence. It was funny because earlier in the day, Jerome had said (sarcastically), "I wonder if Trump has started building the fence yet." Turns out they didn't have the fence there until 1995, and Jacumba Hot Springs was, allegedly, a "pretty dangerous place."

Jerome, happy to be alive and at the border

We finally rolled into Jacumba, and H O L Y shit was this place the definition of an oasis. There was basically nothing in this town EXCEPT for a hot springs/spa resort. The place was amazing and the cherry on the cake; discounted rate for cyclists. I think we payed $50 for the night. The next three hours consisted of comatose like conditions in the hot springs.

Notice Jerome's Jersey hanging out by the pool. He don't give a f***.

Day 5:
"Hey, this place is so nice, let's just wake up whenever and start riding our bikes." Two hours into the ride, "oh my god, I think I'm going to have heat stroke." Lesson learned, you have to wake up early to beat the heat (note to self; start career as rap artist). The day was a far cry from yesterday. It started out great, we hopped on the interstate (normally sketchy, yes, but there was no other option) and flew downhill, running out of gears to push. Speed wobbles are a ton of fun. With all the weight on the front wheel, the front end sometimes decides to have a sort of uncontrollable seizure. The only way to stop it is to either accelerate/decelerate out of it or clamp your knees to the frame and hope to dear god that it stops. Luckily (or unluckily) we survived. Once again, tons of sweet ass rocks along the way.

As we're riding along, I start to notice something:

Zero, fucking nothing out here.

But whatever, it's cool, I like getting a chance to think, sort of that lone wolf mentality (ladies, please contain yourselves). Everything is fine and dandy until we hit a stretch of 20 miles of really bumpy road and things start to go to shit. About half way through I catch a couple gentlemen doing the same exact ride as us, but raising money for multiple sclerosis (Jerome and I now feel like selfish ass holes). As we're shooting the shit, one of them comes from behind me and informs me that my rack is leaning to the left. I stop to check it out, and sure as shit, the rack has a noticeable lean to it. Upon further inspection, a bolt had popped out that held the rack to the frame. I was able to limp it in to town and have a new bolt installed, but that ten miles was pretty stressful. Every thought pops into your head: am I going to make it, is something else going to break, did I ruin my frame and are we going to have to wait for a week to get a new one? None of that happened, of course, thanks to a great bike shop in El Centro, CA (Finish Line Pro Bike Shop; go there).

Once that was fixed, we continued on, but started noticing it was getting extremely hot. Of course, there is zero shade in the desert because nothing can survive out there, but we did find a sweet nearly destroyed shack to hide behind.

Jerome and I JUST missed the rager. Plenty of methlab left, though!

We finished the day off with a hotel in Brawley, CA. I don't know how anyone could survive this place without air conditioning (ooooooo foreshadowing).

Day 6:
Today's tentative agenda; ride 70 miles to the small town of Palo Verde, population 171, and camp out. Yeah, we'll be fine! Just bring an extra couple gallons of water.

When in doubt, strap 20lbs of water to your front wheel and speed wobble all the way there.

Things (as per usual) started out great. We have to climb a bit out of Brawley, but it's cool. I'm actually starting to enjoy climbing with all this weight. We, again, caught up with the MS riders and I smoked by them going uphill (everything's always a race, such a dick). When I crested the hill, I was blown away to find myself in the middle of the Saharan desert.

Vast emptiness, akin to the confines of my soul

The only place I had ever seen something like this was in the movies. It was spectacular! So, of course, if you can't take the desert to the movies, take the movies to the desert.

Kevin of Arabia. Starring: Kevin. Directed by: Jerome

Things are going great, we're having fun, but slowly a thought creeps into our minds. This stretch is known for being the "most hated" stretch of the entire ride. After a while, this starts making sense. Nothing is out here. No towns, no people, not even wildlife. Eventually, we make our way to a small town called Glamis. The town consisted of one eerily large convenience store, nothing else.

Cutesy store front. Nice people running the place.

As we shoot the shit with the store owners, they tell us about how no one shows up out there until October to ride the sand dunes. It's early September. We're feeling the heat and feeling the stupidity. They also inform us that they don't even have electricity, they run everything off a generator. Again, nothing is out here! But we continue on our merry way.

After going through some roller coaster hills and immensely long stretches with zero shade, Jerome starts feeling the bonk. The bonk is that infamous feeling you get when your body starts shutting down because it's run out of fuel. So, we check out the map, and there's no real town for at least 25 miles, and that's a tall order for someone who's bonking. We decide to duck into a campground just outside of Palo Verde, knowing that there's probably nothing in that town. When we find a spot of shade under a tree, we do everything we can to cool down. Essentially, when it's 110 degrees out, there's nothing you can do except wait for the sun to set. So, we start to set up camp and Jerome notices something, we're camped underneath a locust tree. For those that don't know, locust trees are known for having long sharp barbs on their branches, and of course, the ground beneath the tree is littered with said branches. We decide to move camp, and as we pull out, I pull two thorns out of my front tire and hear the air pissing out. Dammit. We find a much better spot under some aspens and hunker down while the heat dissipates.

Jesus Christ, I've never been so hot in my entire life.

As the sun sets and darkness consumes the campground, all i can think about is a rattle snake biting my ass while I try to sleep in my hammock. Jerome sleeps like a baby.

Day 7:
After yesterday, Jerome deserves an easy day. Today was only 25 miles on an extremely flat road with a tailwind the whole way. I used to joke with friends that someday we should have someone drop us off upwind and ride the tailwind all the way home. Today was that day, and it was everything I hoped it would ever be. Nearly effortless riding with no hiccups.

Creepy does not begin to describe this sight in a near ghost town.

We glided into Blythe and sat down at a Denny's to have some breakfast. 4 or 5 people stopped to ask about our ride and shoot the shit. That's one thing I've appreciated about this trip so far, every person we've come in contact with has been stoked/happy to see us doing this ride. I've never lost faith in humanity, but if I had, this ride would quickly be restoring it. Anyway, that brings us to where we are now. Sitting in a quality inn, enjoying some full blast AC, and drinking as much water as is humanly possible.